Night at the Tiki Room
by Spiderlord88
Summary: Every time you go into Walt Disney's Enchanted Tiki Room, you see Iago and Zazu getting on with their act... but they are more imprisoned than any of us can ever realise


Disclaimer: I do not own Walt Disney's Enchanted Tiki Room or anything related to it. Walt Disney's Enchanted Tiki Room belongs to The Walt Disney Company.

_**Night at the Tiki Room**_

April 2003

Walt Disney's Enchanted Tiki Room was closed down for the night as usual. Inside, everything seemed quiet, the tiki statues and the bird models were still. About five minutes or so after the guard had locked everything down, a voice whispered in the darkness.

"All clear."

A second later, a scarlet macaw and a red-billed hornbill stepped out of a hole in the wall. These could only be Iago and Zazu, the new "managers" of Walt Disney's Enchanted Tiki Room.

"It's about time," shouted Iago. "I was getting cramp in my wings waiting for that guard to finish his doughnuts and close down for the night!"

Zazu clamped Iago's beak shut and hissed, "Be quiet Iago, you'll wake the whole of Walt Disney World with that racket." He let the parrot's beak go.

"So what do you wanna do?" said Iago.

"I don't know," said Zazu. "There's not really much to do around here. All we have for company are these models."

"Has it really been five years, now?" asked Iago.

"It's April 2003, so yes I suppose it has been," replied Zazu

The hornbill looked around at the models of the birds and tiki statues. He never liked looking at them in this state, it reminded him of the prison that he and Iago had to endure every night. But what choice did they have? After production on _Aladdin and the King of Thieves _and _Lion King II _had come to an end, Michael Eisner had put them in the Tiki Room, under the identity of the managers. But the two birds knew that the "Under New Management" sign outside was a lie. Eisner was truly the one who called the shots… and the horrific truth was that neither of them were let out to go home. Eisner had quoted them as to valuable to lose. He didn't seem to treat them with any value. They were only ever let out a few times for a few bit parts in _House of Mouse._

"I suppose it's just another quiet night in again," said Zazu.

"Yeah, yeah," said Iago. He did not like this situation any more than Zazu did. Both their salaries put together was lousy… and they only got their salaries twice a year. Because they were trapped in the Tiki Room, all they could spend their money on was a bird seed dispenser on the other side of the room, and the seed tasted awful. If it was any consolation, they were at least given enough money to make it through half a year without starving.

Iago knew that sitting around moping was not going to make time go faster so he decided that he had to make conversation to liven things up.

"I never asked you this but… what did you do after _The Lion King_?

Zazu thought for a minute. "Hmmm… It's been that long ago now, I can only remember so much. I'll tell you what I do remember… taking my wife Hafifu to the world premiere. It was a beautiful moment for both of us. When the curtains closed, she wrapped her wings around me and said that she had never been more proud of me."

Iago grinned and said, "I remember the world premiere of _Aladdin _like it was yesterday. It was probably the best day of my life. I brought my girlfriend Emilia with me. When the credits started to roll, I remember praying and praying that they would let it roll to the "Whole New World" song. My prayers were answered. The song started playing and… I proposed to her."

Zazu smiled and said, "Walt Disney must have been watching over you that night."

"Yeah, good times," said Iago.

There were days when the characters were allowed to see the world premieres to their own films, all expenses paid by the Walt Disney Company. But after _Lilo and Stitch_, those rights were withdrawn. It transpired that Eisner was now spending so much money on producing those imbecilic direct-to-video sequels, those cretinous pop versions of classic songs and moronic live-action comedies, that they could no longer afford the expenses.

After a movie was made, the characters were given a massive pension of 25,000 a year, but thanks to sequel production those pensions were clipped down to 1,000 dollars a year. Zazu and Iago hated to admit it but they knew that such was the cunning of Eisner's mind. He knew that with such a lousy budget, they would have no choice but to do the sequels.

As far as sequels went, the health and safety precautions on set were appalling as well. Zazu remembered to this day the last day of shooting on _The Lion King II, _the whole cast had been invited to watch Nuka's death scene. He had been talking about nothing but his "dramatic exit" all week. (Vitani had jokingly suggested going for realism.) The cause of the accident was that the fake logs were heavier than they should have been; the special effects man wanted the logs to have more weight. The injuries Nuka had sustained were so horrific, he was lucky to walk again. Kiara, Kovu, Zira and Vitani were furious at this. At the urgings of Simba, Nala, Timon, Pumbaa, Rafiki and Zazu, the five of them had decided to club together and sue Eisner. Mufasa, Sarabi, even Scar, Shenzi, Banzai and Ed upon hearing of the accident had also prompted them to action. (That had to be the first time Ed had looked so serious.) When Kiara, Kovu, Zira, Nuka and Vitani tried to sue, Eisner had simply fired them, and they have had trouble finding work ever since.

And the same thing kept happening with every sequel… and it was always the new characters who suffered. Forte was now a wreck, Tip and Dash were unable to swim again, Madeline had suffered severe burns to her upper arm and Buster could no longer put his right-hind leg on the ground without suffering unbearable agony. And all they got out of it was unemployment

Iago's smile faded as he thought of those things. There was only thing that could take his mind off it… television. Apart from a few books and comics, a chess set (which was only used when Iago was desperately bored) and a Monopoly game, cable television was the only source of entertainment they had.

"Oh well," said Iago. "Let's see what's happening on the cable."

"That's always been your idea of entertainment… having your eyes glued to that screen," said Zazu. "And, no, we are not watching _American Beauty_."

Iago picked up the remote and grumbled, "I gotta hide that magazine somewhere." He flipped through the channels looking for something fun. He then found something that at last tickled his interest.

"Hey Zazu, it's that guy again!" called Iago.

"What gu--? Oh no, not _Mr Bean _again!"

The skinny man in his tweed jacket and red tie appeared on screen. His antics in trying to complete his trigonometry had Iago in stitches.

"Ah this is hilarious," laughed Iago.

"Hilarious?" said Zazu. "This has got to be the worst excuse for comedy I've ever seen. All it is, is some idiot in some moronic get-up doing complete rubbish, that no-one in their right minds would do. He only does this for the money, and that Blackadder or Whitecobra or whatever he calls himself is no better either… nothing but insulting crude humour all the way through."

"What is it with you, Zazu?" said Iago. "Why can't you just lighten up for once? I know we're not exactly going through a great time, but…."

"You wouldn't understand Iago!" shouted Zazu.

A silence followed. Iago looked Zazu in the eye and simply said, "Try me."

Zazu swallowed and replied, "It's been 5 years to the day now."

"What day?"

"The day I had a reason to come here," said Zazu. "Hafifu fell ill. Because our pensions were cut, I couldn't afford proper treatment. That was the only real reason I signed up for _The Lion King II_ in the first place. But my pay amounted to nothing. All I could do was sit by her bedside and wait for her to…"

It was to much. Zazu broke down in tears. Iago went over to his friend and placed his wing on his shoulder.

"At least Hafifu knew you loved her," he said. "At first I only signed up for _The Return of Jafar _to provide for the family. But when I heard of the television series, I got greedy. It carried on to _Aladdin and the King of Thieves. I_ ended up forgetting about my family. I'll never forgive myself for the last thing I said to my youngest son before Emilia took the children and left. He tried to show me that he could fly… and I told him to go away. I'm no better than Eisner."

This time it was Zazu's turn to place his wing on Iago.

"You wouldn't have locked your children in a prison, would you," he said kindly.

Iago wiped a tear away and the two friends looked at the T.V. just in time to catch Mr. Bean making a complete exhibition of himself in the middle of church.

"Actually, _Mr Bean_ isn't so bad once you watch it all the way through," said Zazu.

The two birds sat down to watch the show. There was no doubt about one thing… one may be a dignified, snooty hornbill, the other may be an obnoxious, loud-mouthed parrot, but even if they found a way out of this prison they would forever be the best of friends.


End file.
